FEBRUARY 25, 2022
4 Ways You're Killing Your Confidence (and how to stop it!)
The trick to accomplishing anything is actually thinking you can do it.
In other words, confidence is key!
Confidence is Key!
Before you can start on a path of positive thinking, you need to prune out all the negative thinking.
That's easier said than done however, when many of the confidence killers we inflict on ourselves are things we don't even realise we're doing.
Here are four ways you are killing your confidence and how you can stop it!
First it's about you, fall in love with yourself first. Give yourself the love that you so easily give away.
- Alisa Pettit
Constantly Criticising Yourself
The trick to accomplishing anything is actually thinking you can do it. What we say to ourselves matters. If you are constantly criticising yourself and putting yourself down with your own self-talk, you are constantly diminishing your confidence.
Confidence comes from the way you speak to yourself. Try being kind to yourself. Watch what you are saying and ask yourself... "If this was a friend, what would I say to them?"
Instead of continuing the self-criticism speak to yourself as if you were the friend. Encourage yourself with words and affirmations.
Always focusing on what you have not achieved (rather than what you have achieved!)
Do you get to the end of the day and find your task list is as big as you started? Or maybe you are slowly chipping away but you just don’t feel like you are getting anywhere?
The constant focus on what we have not achieved is a sure way to knock your confidence as you always feel like you are failing. Instead of looking at what you have to go, look at how far you have come. At the end of the day, bank your successes and ask yourself, "What did I achieve today?"
Create a success list and add to it every day. This doesn’t mean you ignore what you still have on your plate, however, this balanced approach will help you to feel like you are getting somewhere and build up your belief in yourself.
Excessive Apologising
Do you overuse the word sorry?
Perhaps something falls off the bench and you are near; do you automatically say “sorry”.
When you constantly apologise you are telling your mind that you have a reason to be sorry, even if there isn’t one. Perhaps you use it as part of your manners, however, doing this over time can leave you feeling indebted to those around you. It can have you feeling like you are failing and coming up short – a sure knock to your confidence!
Saying YES to everything
Do you suffer from the "disease to please"?
Perhaps your constant YES habit comes from a fear of social disapproval or an obsessive desire to support and feel needed.
However it occurs, by yessing to death, you end up giving in to others too often and can lose sight of your own goals and needs. It can also result in you linking your own self-confidence to others' approval.
Creating boundaries (and sticking to them!) is the way to go here.
Written by Alisa Pettit
It’s never too late for a lane change. Insite Mind is the brainchild of one woman who after a decade spinning in the hamster wheel of the accounting world gave it up to live out her heart work. But it didn’t come without challenge and a little nudge from the universe in the form of a book Dealing with Difficult People. Upon opening it Alisa was surprised to find in black and white text “maybe it’s you”. So after several ego deaths and many personal development books along the way Alisa Pettit found her way to coaching. Now a fully fledged positive mindset coach and personal mastery guru Ali’s work helps people find their way through mindset teachings.