THE NON FLUFF EMOTIONAL STUFF™

Cleaning Up Your Thinking:

How to Break Free from Unhelpful Thought Patterns

Have you ever noticed how quickly your emotions can spiral when you get stuck in a loop of unhelpful thoughts?

You might feel anxious, frustrated, or flat — and sometimes you don’t even know why.

Here’s the truth: our emotions are a direct result of our thoughts.

When we think unhelpful or distorted thoughts, it’s only natural that our emotions follow the same path.

The challenge is that many of our thoughts happen so quickly and habitually that we don’t even notice them. Over time, these patterns create “thought habits” that can pull us into a downward spiral without us realizing it.

The good news?

You can change it.

The key is awareness.

When you become aware of your unhelpful thinking styles, you give yourself the power to catch them in real-time — and choose a better, more helpful thought instead.

Below are some common unhelpful thinking styles. As you read through them, notice which ones you resonate with. You might relate to several — and that’s okay! Awareness is the first step to changing your patterns.

Common Unhelpful Thinking Styles

1. Mental Filter

This is when you focus on a single negative detail and let it colour the whole situation.

Maybe you had a great night out but only remember the small argument you had with your partner.

Or after a busy day at work, you fixate only on what went wrong rather than the many things that went right.

The fix: Practice widening your lens. Ask yourself: What else happened that was positive?

2. Jumping to Conclusions

There are two common ways we do this:

• Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking.

(Example: blank stares during a talk — “They must be bored with me.”)

• Predictive Thinking: Expecting the worst.

(Example: thinking you’ll mess up a presentation despite past successes.)

The fix: Challenge your assumptions. Ask: Is there another explanation?

3. Personalisation

Taking responsibility for things outside of your control.

If a friend doesn’t call you back, you assume you’ve upset them — rather than considering they might just be busy.

The fix: Remind yourself: Not everything is about me.

4. Catastrophising

Blowing events out of proportion and expecting disaster.

A small disagreement turns into “We’re going to break up,” or a slip in your diet becomes “I’ve ruined all my health goals.”

The fix: Ground yourself. Ask: Is it really as bad as I’m making it out to be?

5. Labelling

Assigning harsh labels to yourself or others based on one situation.

“I’m an idiot,” “They’re useless,” and so on.

The fix: Be kind with your words. Remember: One moment doesn’t define you.

6. Emotional Reasoning

Believing something is true just because you feel it.

“I feel restless, so something bad must be about to happen.”

The fix: Pause and check the facts. Feelings are real, but they are not always facts.

7. All or Nothing Thinking

Seeing things in black-and-white terms.

“If it’s not perfect, I’ve failed.”

“If we disagree, our relationship is bad.”

The fix: Look for the grey areas. Life is full of them!

8. Magnification and Minimisation

Downplaying your own achievements while exaggerating others’.

When someone compliments you, you might think, “They’re just being polite,” while easily celebrating others’ successes.

The fix: Accept your strengths. You deserve to own your wins.

9. Should and Must Thinking

Putting unrealistic demands on yourself or others.

“I should be working, not relaxing!”

These ‘shoulds’ often lead to guilt, frustration, and stress.

The fix: Replace ‘should’ with ‘could’ or ‘choose to’. Give yourself permission to be human.

Why Awareness Matters

It’s not about beating yourself up for having these thoughts — we all have them sometimes.

It’s about catching them when they arise.

Every time you notice an unhelpful thinking style creeping in, you have the chance to gently correct course.

Over time, this awareness strengthens your ability to think more clearly, respond more calmly, and feel more empowered in your emotions.

A Simple Reflection to Try:

• Which thinking styles resonated with you today?

• Can you think of a recent moment where one of these styles showed up?

• What might you do differently next time you notice it?

Remember: Cleaning up your thinking isn’t about perfection — it’s about progress.

Every small shift in awareness leads to stronger emotional wellbeing and a kinder relationship with yourself.

CLEANING UP YOUR THINKING IS JUST ONE CLICK AWAY! SHOP NOW >

Written by Alisa Pettit

It’s never too late for a lane change. Insite Mind is the brainchild of one woman who after a decade spinning in the hamster wheel of the accounting world gave it up to live out her heart work. But it didn’t come without challenge and a little nudge from the universe in the form of a book Dealing with Difficult People. Upon opening it Alisa was surprised to find in black and white text “maybe it’s you”. So after several ego deaths and many personal development books along the way Alisa Pettit found her way to coaching. Now a fully fledged positive mindset coach and personal mastery guru Ali’s work helps people find their way through mindset teachings.

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