THE NON FLUFF EMOTIONAL STUFF™

Focusing on the Positive You: A Path to Genuine Self-Esteem

How often do you pause and truly reflect on what’s good about you?

Not what needs fixing.

Not what you didn’t do.

But what you like about yourself.

If that feels like a foreign concept—or even a little uncomfortable—you’re not alone. Many of us have been conditioned to focus on what needs improvement, and as a result, we often overlook or undervalue our strengths, achievements, and the positive qualities that make us uniquely who we are.

From Ego to Esteem

When we operate from self-esteem—rather than ego—we lead with confidence, humility, and authenticity. But to do that, we need to know ourselves. And that means tuning in to our positive traits, celebrating our strengths, and learning to accept compliments without brushing them off.

Let’s start with a quick exercise:

Jot down 3–5 things you genuinely like about yourself.

Go on—do it now. Don’t overthink it. Just write them down.

Now reflect:

• Was it easy or hard?

• Did your mind want to dismiss the positives or search for flaws?

• Do you feel a little awkward even reading them?

If you struggled, try asking a trusted friend or loved one for their input. What do they see in you? What do they admire or appreciate?

You might be surprised by what they say—and even more surprised by how reluctant you are to accept their kind words.

So ask yourself:

Why is it easier to believe the negative stories we tell ourselves than the positive truths others reflect back to us?

The Power of Positive Self Awareness

Truth is, we rarely stop to take inventory of our strengths. We’re often too busy minimising the good and amplifying the bad. But the more we practice focusing on what we do well, the easier it becomes to see ourselves clearly—and kindly.

And when we operate from that place of clear, confident self-awareness, we are more likely to:

• Set and reach meaningful goals

• Back ourselves in challenging situations

• Feel resilient in the face of setbacks

• Radiate positivity and attract deeper connections

Build Your Self-Esteem Toolkit

This isn’t a one-time exercise—it’s an ongoing practice. So grab a journal, a notepad, or the notes app on your phone and spend some time with these questions:

1. Without being modest, what do I like about who I am? What are my greatest strengths?

2. What are some of my proudest achievements—moments when I felt truly successful?

3. What are some of my skills or talents?

4. What would my friends, family, or co-workers say I’m good at?

5. Think of someone you admire—what qualities do you share with them?

6. If I had the chance, what would I love to teach others?

7. What gives me energy?

8. When I feel most resilient, what helps me bounce back?

Once you’ve answered these, ask someone close to you to reflect on the same questions about you. Then compare notes. What did they write that you didn’t? Do you agree with them? If not, ask yourself why not?

This reflection helps illuminate the gap between how we see ourselves and how others experience us. And often, that gap is where our self-esteem has room to grow.

Rewire Your Thinking

Like learning your times tables, building self-esteem takes repetition. The more often you reflect on and repeat your positive qualities, the more natural it becomes to believe in them.

So here’s your challenge:

• Write down three things you like about yourself each day.

• Revisit your list often.

• Let go of the fear that celebrating yourself is “conceited.” It’s not—it’s necessary.

The more you focus on your positive self, the more your true self-esteem will shine through. And when it does, it’ll beam from you like a beacon of light—lifting you up and lighting the way for others too.

Remember...

Focusing on the positive you isn’t about ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about balancing the scales, reclaiming your strengths, and choosing to see yourself with kindness, clarity, and confidence.

You are worth knowing.

You are worth celebrating.

And you are more than enough—exactly as you are.

POSITIVE SELF-AWARENESS IS JUST ONE CLICK AWAY! SHOP NOW >

Written by Alisa Pettit

It’s never too late for a lane change. Insite Mind is the brainchild of one woman who after a decade spinning in the hamster wheel of the accounting world gave it up to live out her heart work. But it didn’t come without challenge and a little nudge from the universe in the form of a book Dealing with Difficult People. Upon opening it Alisa was surprised to find in black and white text “maybe it’s you”. So after several ego deaths and many personal development books along the way Alisa Pettit found her way to coaching. Now a fully fledged positive mindset coach and personal mastery guru Ali’s work helps people find their way through mindset teachings.

CHECK OUT OUR MOST POPULAR BLOGS