THE NON FLUFF EMOTIONAL STUFF™
We all know someone who always seems to have an excuse. Someone who blames others for everything that goes wrong, who defends their lack of progress with a litany of reasons why life is hard or unfair. And if we’re being honest, we’ve probably all been that person at one point or another. It’s part of being human. But what separates people who thrive from those who stay stuck is the ability to recognise when we’re slipping into this mindset—and to consciously choose to rise above it.
This is what it means to live above the line.
Living below the line means living in blame, denial, and justification. People who live here often see themselves as victims of their circumstances. They point fingers at others, or they rationalise why things aren’t going well. They might say:
• “It’s my boss’s fault I’m not making more money.”
• “I can’t get fit because I’m too busy with the kids.”
• “It’s my upbringing, I was never taught how to do this.”
• “I always mess things up. It’s just how I am.”
Whether the blame is directed outward or inward, the result is the same: No progress. No power. No forward momentum.
On the other hand, those who live above the line take ownership, accountability, and responsibility for everything in their life—the good and the bad. They understand that they can’t always control what happens to them, but they can control how they respond. They look at life through a lens of curiosity and possibility, rather than limitation and defeat.
Instead of saying “I can’t”, they ask “How can I?”
They know that success doesn’t come from perfection, but from personal responsibility.
One powerful framework for shifting from below the line to above the line is drawn from The OZ Principle, which outlines four key steps:
1. SEE IT
Become aware of the reality of your situation. Recognise when you’re in the “victim cycle.” Are you blaming, justifying, or denying? Awareness is the first step to change.
2. OWN IT
Take responsibility for your role in creating the current situation. What choices, actions (or inactions) contributed to where you are right now?
3. SOLVE IT
Once you’ve accepted your part, look for ways to change the situation. What can you do differently? What steps can you take to move forward?
4. DO IT
Take courageous action. Often, fear of failure holds us back, but real change requires follow-through. Progress happens when we act—even if it’s uncomfortable.
It might feel heavy at first to accept responsibility for everything in your life. But here’s the truth: responsibility is not a burden—it’s freedom.
When you realise that you have the power to respond to your circumstances, to create new habits, to change the story—you unlock your potential. You move from being a victim of life to being the author of it.
This mindset shift doesn’t just affect your own growth. When you live above the line, you become a powerful influence. You model accountability for others—your team, your family, your children—and inspire them to do the same.
We can’t go back and change yesterday. But we can choose how we behave today.
So, take a moment to reflect. How have you been showing up lately? Are you living above the line—or slipping below it?
The next time you catch yourself blaming, justifying, or denying—pause. Choose a different path. Choose ownership. Choose action. Choose to live above the line.
It’s never too late for a lane change. Insite Mind is the brainchild of one woman who after a decade spinning in the hamster wheel of the accounting world gave it up to live out her heart work. But it didn’t come without challenge and a little nudge from the universe in the form of a book Dealing with Difficult People. Upon opening it Alisa was surprised to find in black and white text “maybe it’s you”. So after several ego deaths and many personal development books along the way Alisa Pettit found her way to coaching. Now a fully fledged positive mindset coach and personal mastery guru Ali’s work helps people find their way through mindset teachings.
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