THE NON FLUFF EMOTIONAL STUFF™

The Emotional Dictonary- Part 1: Understanding the Resisting Emotions

“How do I know what I’m feeling, when I’m feeling it?”

This is the most asked question I receive — and it’s one I asked myself for years too.

The truth is, emotional awareness doesn’t begin with trying to “fix” how we feel. It starts with understanding. Not fluffy, surface-level understanding. But deep, intellectual comprehension. That’s where this journey begins — with logic. Because once we can rationally understand what we’re feeling, why we’re feeling it, and what it’s trying to tell us, then the emotion often begins to dissipate on its own.

Think of your emotions like a GPS system. When you’re veering off track from your desires, your negative emotions chime in — “Recalculating route…”

They’re not here to punish you or hold you back. They’re simply feedback.

This is why I created what I call the Emotional Dictionary. It’s your practical guide to understanding your emotional experiences — no fluff, no guesswork, just clarity.

We’ll start with Part One:

The Resisting Emotions

These emotions are commonly labelled as negative, but I want you to know something important:

They are not bad.

They are not wrong.

They are simply information.

Your resisting emotions let you know that your thoughts are currently out of alignment with what you truly want. They’re not a match with your goals or desires — and that’s okay. They’re meant to come up so that you can course-correct.

Let’s break them down.

The Sad

Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness, grief, despair, fear, depression

Body Sensations:

Fatigue, heaviness, intense crying, restlessness

Behaviour / Urge to Deal:

Withdrawal from life, difficulty getting out of bed or finding joy

Unhelpful Thoughts:

“I’m not enough”
“There’s no point”
“I’ll never feel better”

Helpful Thoughts:

“I will get through this.”
“I’ve felt better before, and I can feel better again.”
“Life always has a way of working itself out.”

Let’s dive deeper into a few key emotions in this category:

Depression – The emotional guidance system has shut down. You’ve ignored the earlier emotional cues, and now feel numb, hopeless, and stuck. But even here, the GPS is still on… you just need to listen gently.
Fear – That dark, looming sense that something terrible is coming. It’s the belief you can’t cope.
Grief – Profound loss, often paired with fear of what comes next.
Despair – A state of hopelessness, where no solution seems possible.
Unworthiness – When you can only see the good in others and feel you don’t measure up.
Guilt – The belief that by wanting something, you will hurt someone else.
Insecurity – A fear that what you have will be taken away, that you’re not “good enough” to deserve or keep it.

The Mad

Blame, discouragement, anger, revenge, rage, hatred, jealousy

Body Sensations:

Racing heart, flushed face, clenched fists, sweaty palms

Behaviour / Urge to Deal:

Explosive outbursts, lashing out, defensiveness

Unhelpful Thoughts:

“This is so unfair!”
“They did this to me.”
“I can’t believe this is happening.”

Helpful Thoughts:

“I am in control of my life.”
“No one has power over me.”
“I choose to release this feeling and focus on what I want instead.”

Let’s explore a few:

Jealousy – Feeling that because someone else has something, you can’t. There’s a sense of lack and unfairness.
Hatred – Believing life would be better if that person didn’t exist.
Revenge – The desire to make someone feel what you felt.
Rage – An uncontrollable surge of emotional energy.
Anger – The emotion that emerges when things don’t go to plan.
Blame – Assigning the cause of your discomfort to someone else.
Discouragement – Feeling like the proof is in: your goal isn’t happening.

The Scared

Disappointment, doubt, worry

Body Sensations:

Rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, nervous energy, butterflies in the stomach

Behaviour / Urge to Deal:

Avoidance, numbing, escaping

Unhelpful Thoughts:

“I can’t handle this”
“What if it all goes wrong?”
“I knew this wouldn’t work”

Helpful Thoughts:

“I breathe in confidence, and breathe out fear.”
“The future is good — I look forward to it.”
“All is well in my world and I am safe.”

A closer look:

Worry – A misuse of your imagination. You see what you don’t want instead of what you do.
Doubt – You know what you want but don’t believe it can happen.
Disappointment – When what you expected… didn’t happen.

The Stressed

Irritation, impatience, frustration, overwhelm

Body Sensations:

Mental fog, tension, fatigue, scattered thoughts

Behaviour / Urge to Deal:

Retreating, snapping, shutting down

Unhelpful Thoughts:

“I’ll never get this done”
“Everything is too hard”
“I can’t deal with this”

Helpful Thoughts:

“I breathe in calm and breathe out frustration.”
“I can ask for help when I need it.”
“There is always a better way — I choose to find it.”

Let’s define these:

Overwhelm – So much to do… with no idea where to begin.
Frustration – Feeling blocked. Something is in the way.
Impatience – You want it now… but it’s not happening fast enough.
Irritation – A small trigger that disrupts your inner peace.

The Borderline

Contentment, boredom, pessimism

Body Sensations:

Flatness, low energy, lack of engagement

Behaviour / Urge to Deal:

Procrastination, disinterest, giving up

Unhelpful Thoughts:

“I don’t care anymore”
“What’s the point?”
“Nothing excites me”

Helpful Thoughts:

“Something exciting is coming. I just can’t see it yet.”
“I look forward to discovering what lights me up again.”
“Blissful emotions are just around the corner.”

Definitions:

Pessimism – Expecting the worst, but no longer caring.
Boredom – Nothing sparks your desire.
Contentment – You’re okay… but not growing.

Listen to Your Emotions Like a Sat Nav

Resisting emotions are your inner sat nav whispering:

“This isn’t the direction of your dreams.”

They’re not the problem — they’re the pointer. They clarify what you don’t want so that you can get clear on what you do.

I often say the most difficult emotions I’ve experienced — heartbreak, despair, even hopelessness — were the very things that led me to the life I live and love today. Those moments gave me the contrast I needed to choose better.

So don’t resist your resisting emotions. Feel them. Understand them. Let them guide you.

And in the next blog post, we’ll explore their powerful counterpart…

The Allowing Emotions – the ones that tell you you’re on track.

Stay tuned.

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Written by Alisa Pettit

It’s never too late for a lane change. Insite Mind is the brainchild of one woman who after a decade spinning in the hamster wheel of the accounting world gave it up to live out her heart work. But it didn’t come without challenge and a little nudge from the universe in the form of a book Dealing with Difficult People. Upon opening it Alisa was surprised to find in black and white text “maybe it’s you”. So after several ego deaths and many personal development books along the way Alisa Pettit found her way to coaching. Now a fully fledged positive mindset coach and personal mastery guru Ali’s work helps people find their way through mindset teachings.

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